Filthy

Someone I love very much recently told me that another person I love very much feels intimidated when they’re around me because they think my life is perfect.  Now before everyone reading this starts thinking my ego is beyond enormous let’s understand I didn’t say the word perfect nor do I think the word perfect applies to my life or me at all.  (That word “perfect” nearly caused me to have a nervous breakdown earlier in my life but that’s a whole other story.)  In fact, I detest that word so much I’ve pretty much banned it from my house.   So, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way let’s get down to the real business at hand.  How imperfect I am.  Really and truly, let’s talk about how filthy I am.  You see, the truth is I’m the worst sinner there ever was or there ever will be.  I can be greedy and grouchy.  I get tired sometimes and yell at my family.  I lose my temper and say things I shouldn’t.  I hurt people’s feelings and don’t apologize.  I get angry and then say more things I shouldn’t.  I’ve gossiped….a lot.  I’ve spent money I don’t have on things I don’t need.  I’ve been more concerned with what people thought of me than what God thought of me.  I overeat and don’t exercise even though I’m overweight.  I judge others.  I wasted 30 years of my life serving God by following rules instead of following Him.  See, there’s nothing “perfect” about me and there never will be.  I am a daily work in progress.  Christ will never be through with me.  Praise God that He will never be through with me!  I love that Christ never ordered one sin to be worse than any other sin.  So my envy is just as bad as someone’s murder.  My wandering eye is just as guilty as the person who followed through.  Ouch!  For some of us, that hurts.  It’s human nature to compare ourselves to one another and think, “Well, I may have lied to my husband about the money I spent, but at least I didn’t cheat on him!”  It makes us feel so much better than someone else.  But to Christ, it’s all the same.  A sin, is a sin, is a sin.  Each thing breaks His heart just the same.  Thank goodness we’re all covered.  Thank goodness Christ looks at our filth, all of our filth and says,” It’s ok, I still love you.”  For the prostitute and the kindergarten teacher, His grace is the same.  For the preacher and the pedophile, His grace is the same.  We don’t have to understand it, for it to be true.  We just have to accept it for ourselves and allow Him to change us for the better.  But don’t take my word for it.  Paul tells us in Romans 3:22-24, “This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.  There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”    And I fall short every day, but every day He still gives me grace to cover my filth and make me His kind of perfect.  In fact, if there is anything good about me you see, it’s Him.  It’s Christ.  I can promise you that.