Promise Keeper

I have a dream of a promise that keeps me going through those days that seem God is being too quiet.  I see myself with Steve standing behind me on an escalator.  In my arms wrapped up in a sling is a toddler from a different world.  I look a mess.  I'm so tired and I want American food, preferably a cheeseburger.  I've flown over 24 hours and the flights probably got delayed so I'm worried my other kids aren't here.

And then.

And then I see those faces.  And for the first time ALL of my people are on the same continent.  We are breathing the air in the same room.  I cannot get to them fast enough.  
When our feet hit the floor they come at me full force and my arms aren't big enough to hold all of them at once but I try.

Sweet Jesus I will try.

This is his promise, this is my dream.  And my God is a promise keeper.  

Hebrews 10:23 tells us, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

 God is unable to be unfaithful.  It is not even possible for him.  It's opposite to his very nature.

"God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being , that he should change his mind.  Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and then not fulfill?"  Numbers 23:19

Sometimes we as a younger generation of Christian believers forget the idea that our God is the same God who delivered the Israelites from Egyptian slavery.  We forget that he parted the Red Sea.  We forget that he devastated entire armies to place his children within the promised land of Canaan.  We hear these stories and think they are amazing.  We are awed by his strength and his power.  We stand in wonder at the way he has over and over delivered his people to exactly the right place at exactly the right time.  But we fail to realize that we stand as recipients of the same power, strength, blessing and favor because as believers in Christ we are also his children.  (Galations 3:26)
Why then do we not ask for them?  Why then do we not expect him to DELIVER?  I hold fast to the promise of my family because God has placed it within my heart.  It was not of my own choosing or power.  But my faith in him to have the power to deliver is real and constant because he is a promise keeper.

His power has NOT diminished even though our society has chosen to diminish him.  

Everyone of you is facing something you cannot do on your own.  I don't have to know the details of your stories to know that.  That is the human condition.  God is not unaware of who you are or who I am.  He knows exactly what giant we are facing and he will come through.  Maybe not according to our plans, but according to his. And let's face it our plans are NEVER as great as his.  Can you start to have faith that he will deliver on his promises?  I will freely admit that my faith is often a moment by moment choice.  It is not always easy, but it is always right.  I will also admit that I freely question God about his plans for me.  Where are we going, what are you up to?  Mostly what I get back is the word, "wait."  And so I just keep taking one step in faith at a time.  I keep reminding myself that God will provide whatever is needed.  And sometimes that will literally be at the minute I need it.  To expect him to map it all out is simply not going to happen.  If he did that, why would we need faith?  What kind of servant would we truly become?  And I also remind myself that he has done GREAT things for people like David, Noah, Esther, Ruth, and Abraham, right?  He didn't love them more.  He did not.  The bible does not say it!  He loves all of his children and therefore shouldn't I trust that he will do GREAT things for me.  Shouldn't you trust that he will do GREAT things for you as well?

The same God who was strong enough to deliver his son for the sacrifice still sits on his throne.  The same God who was powerful enough to raise Christ from the grave still reigns.  And these things are worth remembering.  They are worth holding onto when your day is more than you can bear alone. 

"...Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Now that's promise.

The Closet

I knew it was coming.  I could feel it.  For weeks I had pushed it down.  In public when I saw people with babies I would just smile and comment politely but inside I could sense it.  And I just kept shoving it back.  I had no idea it would hit me in the closet.  I was busy sorting Luke’s outgrown clothing for a friend with a new baby.  Steve and I had decided that it didn’t make much sense to keep a closet full of clothes for a baby who might not arrive for another year or two when our friend could use them now.  Besides, our Isaiah wouldn’t be a little baby when he got home anyway, right?  Logically, it made perfect sense.  So, I’m not sure if it was the tininess of the baby onesie or the fact that it had I love mommy stitched on it or the random thought I had when I saw that it came from Gap and I hoped that some kid hadn’t stitched it on there instead of going to school that day, but all I can tell you was that the waterfall started.  Tears flowed like rain down my face and onto the baby clothes I was sorting and I couldn’t stop them. Before I knew it they turned into sobs and I buried my faced into that onesie and all I could think was Oh God.   I was glad I had closed the closet door and the girls had their TV turned up too loud.  I was relieved no one in my house could hear me.  I really had no words other than Oh God to pray.  I wish that I could tell you that I did.  I wish that I could post one of my written prayers from my journal that could help you but I don’t have one.  All I can tell you was that right there in my kids’ closet I was heartbroken and there aren't words for my prayer for that.  I can tell you I was mourning that Isaiah won’t be little when he comes home and I was mourning our wait.  I was mourning a world that makes children wait for homes while expediting abortions.   And sometimes there aren't words for that either; at least not human words.  As I sat there rocking back and forth I knew I wasn’t alone, however sad, however tired, the Holy Spirit was with me. Of all the things I know about God to be true at that moment I remembered that.  Paul tells us the following in 

Romans 8:26-27, “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.”

I finished sorting those clothes through tears that day and found that I was stronger than when I started.  Every day I get stronger, and every day I get closer to his promise of my son.  And every day I remind myself that I am filled with a built in prayer partner.  I don’t have to have all the words I just need to ask for help.   I don’t know where you are right now.  Maybe you are waiting too on something God has promised, or maybe you have news that you can’t handle alone.  But wherever your closet is right now God is there too.  You don’t have to have the right words; you don’t have to have any words at all.  Be secure in the knowledge that the Holy Spirit is speaking for you when you are unable to do so.  Rest in that promise and come out of your closet with some peace.  I did.